This may sound crazy. Still, if you have been a Christian for a long time, I would love for you to give me feedback and knowledge on this topic. I am confused, and somewhat frightened. This post may not have the poise of a beautifully constructed essay.

Every month or so, I will get a dream that shakes me to the core of my being – I had another one of these last night. In these dreams, unclean spirits attack me, and occasionally loved ones). It is incredibly difficult to explain how it feels (and I do feel it vividly, as real life); I am simply aware of their presence and filled with utter dread.

Last night I feel as though I was attacked as many as ten times throughout the night. What makes these dreams so interesting is that I always use my authourity in Christ in response. Every single time I feel this attack, I declare my position as a child of Christ, and demand the demon, by the blood of Jesus, to leave. Again, these are not simple scenes played out in my head, but lengthy, grueling battles: I am mentally and spiritually exhausted when I awake.

To someone who is not a Christian, I can imagine this sounding like nonsense. And in a way, I wish it was. When I first was saved, I started to read all sorts of “non-fiction” material written by people claiming to have been through demonic experiences. These were over the top, with werewolves and manifestations of Satan. I have since stopped thinking about the authenticity of these stories, but the existence and power of “the rulers . . . the authourities . . . the cosmic powers over this present darkness . . . the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places,” I cannot deny.

Not only do I experience this, but I think I know why I do more so than others. As I have confessed in an earlier post, I struggle greatly with lust and anger. These I have not yet overcome. Another reason is that I am too often alone in my Christian walk. Now I am not saying that I have no Christian community – there are many who care for me, and I am thankful – but it is my own fault that I spend so many troubled hours at home, alone. This is where Satan will attack.

I should stop and verify that I am not blaming my lust and anger on Satan. I’m perfectly capable of committing this blasphemy myself. But I have read, and believe, that when we know the will of God, and willingly go against it, we give the devil legal ground in our lives. This is why when we commit adultery, get drunk, or anything of the sort, we are met with a huge wave of condemnation.

*   *   *   *   *

Fortunately, this post does not start with Satan and end in despair. Every night in these dreams, when I am attacked, and actually have incredible difficulty even speaking one word, I shout out, “Don’t you know that I am God’s child? I have been washed by His blood!” It’s slow and hard to speak, but I repeat it as many times as I need to. I don’t even technically “cast it out;” I just affirm my place in God through Jesus Christ.

Thank you for reading this rant of mine. But, please – if you have any knowledge, experience, or even a Scripture passage I could learn from, please share it. Let’s just say I don’t learn about this stuff on the Miracle Channel!

The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you all.

Advertisements