Some things have the power to break me down.


The next one probably doesn’t affect more mature Christians much, but: quarreling Christians. When I hear Christians verbally fighting with harsh words – especially recently – I want to give up the fight. Who can say who’s right?

I suppose the one who is most right is the one who admits there’s so much more to God than they could ever imagine. Who are we to say that our thoughts are on the same level as His?

Here, I must ask people I haven’t met in person: would you pray for me? As I was saved while several people I hadn’t met prayed for me, I believe the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

On Friday, next week, I am giving my testimony at a youth event. I want to try to awaken these youth to the reality of the battle they are in.

I strongly believe I am under spiritual attack. That isn’t that difficult, as I am still very immature in the faith. I am being discouraged from every angle.

First, I am keenly aware of the tendency of Oliver youth to fall away. When they reach roughly sixteen, they see the world around them and have to reason to not join it. They start to party, and leave youth group. I imagine they think I’m nuts. And a hypocrite. I was the biggest party-er of them all; who am I to point fingers? I am overwhelmed with the sense that this will have little impact on anyone.

Another attack, as mentioned above, is the despair over disagreeing Christians. It is probably because I have a hollow devotional life that allows this to be a weapon. When we personally know God, we don’t have to listen to people say we’re wrong.

I understand there are probably logical arguments against these fears, but I simply ask for prayer. It is rare that I, emotionally, can actually sit down and plan out what I’m going to say to these youth. Were Satan held back, and my testimony and cry for the seeking of God unhindered, very great things could happen. We could see young men and women standing up for God Almighty in a perverse generation. Pray for us.

This post is long because I felt it might be appropriate to include a prayer I wrote down (I do this in my journal), so that if you pray – God bless you – you can have a good idea of what’s going on in my mind.


LORD of Lords,

Too often, we try to box You up. We assume we have You all figured out by us. You see these professing Christians – one claims to know You, while another is said to be in the dark.

I will be the first to admit that I do not have You figured out. How little I know! I am ridden with pride and unbelief. God, help me. How could I stand on my own? Will my intellect lead me to green pastures, to still waters?

The sight of quarreling Christians threatens to undo me. Do you hear my prayers if I am in theological error?

Jesus, I am weak in the faith. Only Your hand has made me stand through this year. Only by Your patience have you sought me after I constantly sin against You. Only by your kindness have You shown me love when I show none in return.

Father, it is before my own Master that I stand or fall. “And I will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make me stand.” I praise You.

Let me not despair over the quarreling of the Church. We are Your bride! At the end, You will present us to Yourself blameless.

And there will be no more sorrow. Amen.